Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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