Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I have aggressive nipples.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
