well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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