I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
