Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
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Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
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I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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