girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
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I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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