Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
