i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
