Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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