I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize