I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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