I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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