the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
My ATM looks so different sober.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
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