1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I love black thongs
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
