What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
