This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I faked an abortion last night.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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