i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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