was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
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