I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
