Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
