and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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