No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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