So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
