I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
