i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
