no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
