One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
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