Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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