Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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