Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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