I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
