Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I lost the right to judge tonight
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
