remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize