Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
