Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
