Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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