There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
