My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
cat food counts as protein by the way
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Randomize
