4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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