I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
