But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
