THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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