My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize