forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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