i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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