we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
