Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
