brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Acid is not a monday night drug
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
and you fell through a lawn chair
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
