just come out here and I will go home with you...
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
