i may or may not be watching the land before time
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
