I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
