What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Randomize
