Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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