You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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