READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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