She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
