i barfeds in our rink
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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